Cory A.K.A. Sunshine is where it all started.  He saw a bunch of guys doing their best to get back into shape and he jumped in with both feet. Grabbing the reins and steering the carriage back onto the path.  He created our group and took ownership of it. Fashioning work-out routines and schedules, while offering guidance and health tips, was just the beginning.  As the group slowly began to blossom, he was the first to recognize what a good time we all were actually having and it inspired him to jokingly suggest we become a boy band.  We aren’t the kind of people to back down from a challenge, so we owned it.  We didn’t just own it, but we took the concept and ran with it! Recognizing our inability to perform as a singing group (except for Barbie Mike); we evolved into what we are now, whatever that may be.

Cory is by far the superhero of the group, in the Flash Gordon fashion (Super Buff and Super Cheesy). He always has a kind word and is a driving force; Cory is Tide Me A River. While he may have missed out on his legendary status elsewhere, he certainly found it here. 

Despite his awesomeness and physique, Sunshine is also a super duper nerd.  He has many diverse interests and loves discussing them with other people. If you see this guy in the gym or stumble across him online in the gaming world, you should definitely stop and chat. We guarantee it will be worth your while.

Let’s hear it from the TMAR group about Sunshine:

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…you make me HAPPPPYYYY when skies are grey” – 2PL8$

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" - Precious

"Idea man. Likes to change it up. Gets picked on a lot, but expertly shrugs it off."  - L. Boraccho

Preston (A.K.A. Precious), most often confused as Justin Timberlake, has an original seat in the TMAR band and will be a lifetime member whether he likes it or not. He is always encouraging the other members to pursue their dreams and challenge the status quo. Most people initially brush him off as a bimbo with a great smile and that isn’t fair, he can offer so much more! Many members of TMAR looked to Preston for a good laugh and with those luscious locks he can be pretty easy on the eyes as well. When hanging out with Preston it is not uncommon to hear comments from passer byers like “I’d tap that”, and “sorry I lost my train of thought, I just saw a resemblance of childhood bliss”.

Preston likes to travel and make the world his oyster. He has lived in Spain (where he ran with the bulls and took part in the worlds largest tomato food fight), been part of the .05% of people that have climbed an iceberg, and once was a member of a popular boy band. His childish nature makes people around him feel skeptical knowing a prank could come at any time, but not in a way that makes you intimidated due to his good natured smile.

Preston currently lives with his wife Roni, their two dogs and two cats in the Dallas, Texas area. He could be characterized as a “Dallas Bro” with the essence of some world traveling; you might not be able to tell he is from Texas but eventually you can catch on.

Let’s hear it from the TMAR group about Precious:

“Preston loves to prank people. If he was a Norse God it would definitely have to be Loki.” - Sunshine

"Every time I look at him, I see a scabby kneed, buck toothed, bushy headed eight year old pushing his Huffy down a dirt road out to conquer the world" - 2PL8$ 

“I still can’t tell if that is JT or not” - Anonymous

"I have three words for you... One. Trick. Pony." - Darth Hype
 

"Similar nipples. Fun loving and loving fun. Bi-curious"  - L. Boraccho

Kristen Wells (A.K.A. 2PL8$) is the glue to our group, plain and simple.  I can honestly say that without him, TMAR would not be anywhere near what we are today. The great thing about Kris is that he is just as beautiful on the outside as the inside.  He is honest, genuine, and one of the few people that you meet and instantly know there is no Mr. Hyde to a Dr. Jekyll.  Many might judge him on the many tattoos that paint his body, but within a two minute discussion you cannot help but be drawn and awed by him.

There is one annoying thing about Mr. 2PL8$, and that is his constant modesty.  He is the kind of guy that will downplay his intelligence with such wit that your brain will stumble over itself trying to figure out what the hell just happened.   If he ever got the chance, he would dominate any jeopardy game due to his legendary pop culture prowess.  He is the Einstein that was brave enough to go against the grain.

If you ever get the chance to talk to this guy, make sure you ask him about all the concerts he has seen and amazing Comic cons he has attended.  He is the celebrity that the camera’s never found.  Basically, he is the kind of friend that makes life that much brighter and reminds us not to pre-judge people based on what society says or thinks is taboo.

Let’s hear it from the TMAR group about 2PL8$: 

“Pew Pew Pew; WATCH OUT it’s a trap door spider” – Precious

“Dude, you don’t need college… college needs you, think about it” – Sunshine

“We are so connected, I can just sense it when you need me” – Darth Hype

"dont tell me how to live my life"

"Loves being the center of attention, but he commands it well. Trivia master. Otherworldly" - L. Boraccho

#selenagomezboobjob

Barbie Mike - "I wouldn't do it or anything but whats your guys opinions on calf implants?" 

Adding Mike Stone (A.K.A Barbie Mike) to the group was a pivotal moment for TMAR. It was the first time we allowed someone in that had physical handicap. It isn’t that we judge handicapped people but we just didn’t know how to skirt the subject of “legs” around him. Barbie Mike was born with a defect known as NECS or better known as “Non-Existent Calf Syndrome”. Through many discussions we decided it was best to fix the issue rather than ignore it… so we attacked. Now at every opportunity we try to bring it up and make sure he knows, that we know, that everyone knows about NECS. If you know someone with this defect you of all people know and understand the issues he faces every day, especially with about 8 dudes constantly bringing it up, but hey what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

On a serious note, Mike’s calves are fine. In fact, aesthetically they look just as big as ours (but don’t tell him that). One subject you really do need to avoid with Barbie Mike is biceps. The dude won’t stop working them out. I’ve never seen anyone turn a bench workout into a bicep workout but somehow he manages. It’s actually quite impressive.

Barbie Mike is actually very talented. He is a rock star that never got his big break. He has the looks, the musical talent, and cold resting b face that says “yea… I’m the fkin lead guitartist! What of it?!?!” If you’re trying to find Barbie Mike he is either at home making music, taking his shirt off for modeling pics, at the gym doing a 3 hour bicep workout, or at the bar sampling exotic beers. Sounds like an awesome lifestyle to me!

Let’s hear it from the TMAR group about Barbie Mike:

“You’ve got that pepper and salt look going, but you’ll never be as pretty as precious” – Darth Hype

“Bro, no way you could do 25 strict pull-ups in a row… no way” – Sunshine

“She must wear the pants, because she’s the one that fill them out” – 2PL8$

“Don’t post the workout, it’s leg day and Mike won’t show if you post it” – Precious

"a bit moody, and can omit a black fog of Aura when down, but I really like the guy. His nipples don't work. No man left behind" - L. Boraccho

"SOONER!!!" - Darth Hype

I own a gym, enough said. 

A Sith walks among us...  When you first see Darth Hype, you would never say: "That muthafcker walks the path of the Darkside!"  I tell you true, even his son tells him that he is a bad guy.  While Darth Hype is a very calm, cool dude, you can tell that his happy demeanor is just a facade.  Quick with the jokes and happy to drink with you, you do not want to turn your back on this guy.  Yes, ladies that is a red light saber in his pants.  Let's face it, the man owns a gym.  He will take a slovenly slob and melt away his body fat using his mind tricks to get you to cut the carbs and cardio your butt off.  While he tells you that he is the janitor of his gym, he is always watching you.  After a 2 hour workout, he is there ready to yell and tell you that you aren't givin it 110%.  Tim's true nature is the manilupative politician; a sinister senator pulling strings and destroying nations while he's shaking hands and kissing babies. The quiet genius is underplayed, but TMAR is wise to his ways. Darth also moonlights as the hype man for 2PL8$, a job that he was all too willing to take on. Never enter a couple's challenge with Darth and 2PL8$ on Sunday Funday. It's not even a contest. These two are connected in ways that we have yet to understand. Always two there are. A master and an apprentice. 

Here is what TMAR is saying about Darth Hype:

I thought you'd be bigger - Precious

BOOMER! - Barbie Mike

His eyes are brown, flecked with green - 2PL8$

R u allowed to workout in ur gym? Cuz it doesnt look like it. - Dee Money

Many have heard of the most interesting man in the world but most do not really know the whole story, and what makes him so interesting! Well, I am here to bring you a piece of that puzzle.  Javier (A.K.A. Wocka Wocka Wocka) is the man that the Dos Equis guy met years ago which transformed the most interesting man in the world into who he is today.  Don’t believe me? Prove me wrong then! See you can’t because it is the truth. Javier doesn’t come off as the loudest in the group nor does he ever try to captivate others attention; but, the great thing about him is that he doesn’t need to.  He is the hidden variable in any group that allows everyone to have a continuous good time. I first noticed this one Sunday Funday when the group just got over a good laugh and the atmosphere was beginning to die and then Mr. Wocka Wocka Wocka begins to giggle and we lost it all over again. He would be the ideal guy to have at your bachelor party to make sure it is one continuous high without the lulls.

If you are looking for Mr. Hot and Javy, you can find him on the beach wearing a sweater vest sipping on some high quality Rum, skydiving from barely flyable planes, or saving kittens from crocodiles. Tread lightly while drinking with this fellow because if you wanted a simple night with a few drinks, that won’t be in your future.

Let’s hear it from the TMAR group about Wocka Wocka Wocka:

“Sweet Bro, I love the clear yamaka!” – Precious

“Javier, why are you wearing a sweater vest on the beach? Oh wait, that’s your chest hair” – El Diablo

“I want to you to be my traveling companion so I know what Han Solo felt like traveling with Chewbacca” – Sunshine

"Always happy, but doesn't rub it in your face. Has good vibes. Laugh's easily at poop conversatons."  - L. Boraccho

"My gun comes out of my thigh"

Chester is the green (lime) skittle in our bag. You never realized how great it was until someone replaced it with green apple. When he’s not around (or drops off the face of the earth as he is known to do), his absence is felt; it’s kind of like the empty socket left behind by a freshly pulled tooth. He is a force of nature and is unofficially considered our President of Vices.  Chester squeezes every ounce of life out of every single moment and it is absolutely impossible to not enjoy yourself in his company. Chester has a welcoming smile and such an honest, genuine love for people that he has a following everywhere he goes. His laugh is infectious and his warmth makes him a giant teddy bear.  Robocop Jesus and 2PL8$ are known to travel together and you can be sure that they leave a lasting impression everywhere they go.

Chester is a bit of a weapons enthusiast and is quite the expert on basic survival skills (making him the perfect group member for the possible zombie apocalypse). He’s also a bit of a mechanical whiz. This super handy guy is an essential to any group. Be wary though, there’s no such thing as a quiet night when this guy is involved. Shenanigans will be prevalent and a camera will be necessary if you want to piece the night back together the following day (or week).

Let’s hear it from the TMAR group about Robocop Jesus:

"I understand your pain of sometimes wanting to be the little spoon" - Precious

"You are the eh eh eh eh to my umbrella ella ella" - Sunshine

"We'll always have Paris" - 2PL8$

"the life of the party. Brings the mood. Always in a good mood."  - L. Boraccho

When Barbie started hanging out with this chick more than the rest of the group, we all decided that we need to know this girl more. She is the first female addition to the group and this little spitfire fit right in immediately. She doesn’t take any crap and can hang with the guys when it comes to insults and drinking. Her ever-present smile and sense of humor make her an obvious addition. 2PL8$ and Dee have a great time together and have even developed their own greeting. This involves a high five, followed by a mutual ankle grab and ends with hopping around on one foot in a circle until both start laughing. One of their favorite pass times is sitting in the back seat of the truck on the way back from work combining their wit to insult Barbie. This is usually very entertaining to all people in the truck except for Barbie. One might think that because of her stature, she is shorter than even 2PL8$, and being almost as pretty as Precious, that she would be soft spoken and mousey. One could not be more incorrect. Arguments often break out and when she is around she wins out of sheer volume. Not to say that she is not intelligent. She has a degree in ChE and is a published writer. She’s tougher than woodpecker lips, lifts with the guys and is sure to leave you smiling.

Let’s hear what the group has to say about Dee Money:

2PL8$: She’s Barbie’s Ken.

Barbie Mike: I call dibs.

Robocop Jesus: Mini Max is pretty hot

L. Boraccho: a force to be reckoned with. Great sense of humor, but could be at your expense.

#yourecryingandIdontcare

First off, this savvy member of TMAR isn’t a drunkard…all of the time, but he really knows how to party. He’s also been apprenticing under Darth Hype because his powers of persuasion are strong. If you’re heading out drinking be prepared for shenanigans abound. Quick to song and jest, L. Boraccho is always fun to have around.  Be warned though, he is a contender for Vice President of Vices. Robocop Jesus still has the presidency wrapped up. Although the gym seems to be L. Baraccho’s kryptonite, he’s still a valuable asset to the crew, especially on Sunday Fundays. This guy has quite the store of trivia floating around up there. An easy friend and an enjoyable companion for late night chats or drunken antics, L. Boraccho is always up for a good time.  Be warned however, that he has a deep seated hatred for blue plastic chairs.  I don’t know what it is about them.  You’ll notice that he spreads the bodies of his enemy chairs throughout the yard in front of his room.  This gruemsome act is a warning that keeps the timid chairs away.  He can be seen peeking through the blinds of his room watching for his next hapless victim.  But on the other hand, L. Borracho is a very friendly individual.  He will lend you the shirt off his back or the juice from his vape.  Let’s hear what other members are saying about L. Borracho

Barbie: Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

2PL8$: Wizards of Waverly Place

Darth Hype: He's like the dad of our group, who buys us beer and hits on our hot friends

Hawkeye is the tallest Ecuadorian in his village of Quito, Ecuador where he lives happily with his wife of 25 years and their three children… yes 25 years. That is something truly to be recognized in this day and age. Of gentle and kind demeanor, Hawk could be considered one of the nicest guys in the world, but you know what they say about fury and a patient man, don’t cross the line. Hawk is fluent in three languages:  Spanish, Portuguese and English. He could also survive easily on a tour of Italy with the amount of Italian he knows. He is a world traveler that has lived in several different countries. On the other hand he has been described as perpetually late and overly optimistic. He is usually tasked with many things, so when he doesn’t accomplish them all, or respond soon enough, he is generally easily forgiven, unless it comes to welding up a BBQ. Turns out that, Jeff (L Boracho), and the Hawk sailed together in the Navy some 27 years ago on a UNITAS cruise around South America and didn’t know it until they met in Cabinda. He is a brother for sure. Honest and loyal and always up for drinking and shenanigans (if they happen to fall on a Saturday night).

Let's hear it from TMAR about Hawkeye

L. Boraccho: tallest Latino I've ever met. Nicest guy. Never swears unless in jest.

2PL8$: Where in the fuck is Marcelo

Taco Tuesday is my religion.

My Mustang gets more action than I do.