Things To Think On

At some point in our lives, we all feel defective. Are we as broken as we think?

When I was younger, I used to work at a tire shop. Not quite a mom and pop operation, but definitely not a franchise either. It was a good place, full of good people. The philosophy behind the business was that everyone was important and should be treated that way. We got to know our customers and they came back time and time again. We gave roses to every female customer and they all left feeling appreciated. We gave away flat repairs and other small things to help those who needed it. No grand gestures, no spectacles of awe, just basic human kindness. That's it. That's all we did. The business was wildly successful.

After quite a few years, it was my time to move on. The pay wasn't great and although they treated you like family (and I mean that in the most sincere way, they took care of you), I really didn't fit in with the core group that worked there. So I turned in my notice and was working my final week when it happened. We had ordered some inexpensive tires for a couple that was hard pressed for cash and I was fetching them from the back. One of the tires had a defect sticker on it. Now that doesn't mean the tires were no good, it simply meant that there was a blemish in the raised letters that ordained the outer walls of the tires. Anyway, in a moment of frivolty, I pulled the sticker off and pasted it over my name badge. It fit perfectly.

This great, wild epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks. I WAS a defect. If there was a human assembly line, I would have been slapped across the forehead with a red rubber stamp and tossed into the bin quite some time ago. I was wired wrong. I didn't think the right way and I certainly didn't fit in. It had been staring me in the face all this time and it took this insignificant sticker to illuminate my darkness. I was defective.

I took this lesson with me and moved on with my life. I spent the next few years bouncing from company to company, job to job. I never really got to know the people that I worked with and I didn't feel the need to. What difference would it make? I wasn't like them. I wasn't a part of the crowd. I kept to myself and kept my head down. It was the easiest way.

That lifestlye was lonely. I mean, I had a family and I had a few friends, but it was a weary existence, hiding from the world. It got to the point that I yearned for something I couldn't identify and after quite a few more years, I decided that I needed a change in my life. I had hit quite a lot of lows and I was tired of being me. I had to do something different. I had to do something big.

I quit my job, packed up my family, and moved halfway across the country with no prospects and no idea what I was doing. It was a well thought out plan. I'm good at those. I told you I was defective.

With no friends and no job, I had a lot of time to think about what had gotten me where I was. I began to reflect upon my epiphany. Maybe there was a bit more truth to that moment than I fully realized. Was I like everyone else? Absolutely not. Was I a good, standard issue person? I didn't think so. But did that make me no good? Maybe my defect was a cosmetic blemish, just like the tires'. Maybe I had missed the point. Perhaps what the universe was trying to tell me was that even though I didn't feel the same or look the same, I was just as good. I was every bit as capable of the performance and quality of all the other people on the assembly line. I just had a minor blemish.

As I pondered this, it occurred to me that the couple that needed the tires didn't care about the blemish. What mattered to them was that the tires could do the job and they were quite pleased with what they had gotten. It all came full circle to that first job and its business philosophy. Everyone wants to be treated with dignity and respect. Everyone wants to be cared about, and if you can offer support and kindness to people, they don't care much about a few blemishes.

I applied those ideas to myself and took the time to care about and get to know people. My life took a major upswing. Now I'm friends with all kinds of people from all different walks of life and all over the world. I've got a good job and I am held in high regard, despite my flaws. I'm doing quite well in every aspect.

We all feel defective and at times we all try to hide from the world. Some of us are better at keeping it on the inside than others, but it's just a parlor trick. At the end of the day, being kind and accepting people for who they are IS the grand gesture. It is the spectacle that inspires awe. No one really cares if you're shiny and perfect; they're actually comforted knowing that you aren't. Take the time to understand people and let them come to understand you. You may be surprised at how much you have in common and how interesting the things that you don't have in common really can be. Help those in need to the best of your ability, even if that's just standing silently beside them. All you can take with you is what you've given away and the only thing you truly own is yourself. Give of it freely and change the world.

- Kris Wells a.k.a. 2PL8$