ohhh... so close, but yet so far!

I have always been in awe of the phrase, “so close but yet so far”. When I was younger, I never really understood that quote and wondered how you could be close and also far away. Well, since my younger days, I have come to realize how true of a saying that really is and how often it applies.

The most recent account of this was found in a glass bottle that I was able to purchase for a buck seventy five. There I was, sitting around a table with some friends, looking down at this bottle. It’s so close to me that I can reach out and touch it. Hell, I can head butt it if I really wanted to. I’m so close, but yet, I am so far away from the succulent liquid within. How do I get this beer open without a bottle opener?

Between making my way through essay papers and homework assignments over the years, I would have the occasional drink at parties. Many times I would find myself with no bottle opener in site, but I was not going to let that stop me. So I had to find alternative ways to “crack a cold one”.

I enjoy learning new things (always have) and I am always looking for a way to make things simple. It’s not because I’m lazy, it’s just because why over exert yourself if there could be a simpler way of doing something.

So here I was, sitting around a table with some friends, having a few drinks and one of the guys grabs an empty bottle, places it under the cap, and uses the empty bottle to open his fresh beer. So this is when my “learning new things” kicks in and I have to figure this one out. I would say the most common methods of opening the bottle without a bottle opener would be using a lighter as a leverage or using the edge of some structure. But here the bottle was used.

For the rest of the evening and a few more evenings to follow, I found myself volunteering to open everyone’s beer so I could practice. Sad to say, it did take me several attempts to get this, but the reason was that I used the lighter technique and tried to pry the cap off with the empty bottle instead of exerting an upward force on the bottom of the cap (similar to the edge of the table). Eventually I was able to pop those suckers off with ease and I have sense been showing friends elsewhere my new strategy. Of course when I show them I act like it’s no big deal and “walk off the court” as if my first shot was from the 3 point line and it was nothing but net.

I have since been paying more attention to how people open their drinks, and will continue to learn and try new methods; except one though. If Newton was still around he would have had a fourth law about people who open their bottle with their teeth. I don’t understand why someone would try that and I don’t think that it is one I will ever try, but it is still quite impressive all the same. To each their own, right? Using the leverage or upward force method can be used with almost any object, I would imagine, and I will continue to see what new techniques I can discover and conquer.

Regardless of your method for overcoming the “so close yet so far” scenario, make sure you do overcome it and don’t let something so trivial as not learning how stop you.