How Do You Shower?

So recently…. After a few beers and a couple shots of Jack Daniels with 2PL8$, Barbie, and the drinking devil (aka Jeff) and many conversations later; we, for some odd reason, found ourselves on the topic of discussion relating to showering. Now this was not about taking a shower but HOW we take showers. One would think it’s pretty straight forward. You get in, get wet, clean yourself, and dry off. Oddly there are many ways to accomplish this same task. I start the topic of discussion off saying that I go straight in for a man’s three main focus areas which are outlined in the image below. After a quick rinse of water I start off applying soap to the armpits followed by the lower and nether region. Maybe because I feel these need the most attention but following this routine I begin with shampoo and the rest of the body. Barbie agreed and said he has the same routine but 2PL8$ said this was completely wrong and that you need to start on the head (shampoo/face) and work your way down as the dirt will continue to flow in this direction, so as you are cleaning you don’t back track. His logic makes the most sense and the other day while I was showering I was curious, is there a perfect way to shower?

My wife and I often shower together and I have started to notice more about how I shower and how she showers differently so I decided to take it upon myself to do a little research and find the most effective way to shower and share my findings with said reader. So as I always mention to my mom when she asks me a question, "step 1: Google".

Holy Cow! 11,200,000 results for “most effective way to shower”!! This might be a little more in-depth than I planned but, Challenge accepted. As we go through this step by step guide I will compare my routine with my wife’s and see who wins, after all we are both pretty competitive.

First, undress and place your dirty clothes in a laundry basket. I’m going to give this point to myself as my wife always leaves her clothes on the bathroom floor before the shower and takes them later. Now some of you might say that her clothes end up in the same spot but I’m writing this article and I want to win.

Second, get the water temperature just right and wet your entire body. We both do this and since everyone wants the highest score possible we are both awarded a point here. This stage is to loosen dirt and dust and will also help your muscles relax. Although a hot steamy shower sounds/feels best you really want to keep a temperate water temperrature as hot temperatures can inflame psoriasis or eczema.

Third, lather a small amount of shampoo into your hair. I guess 2PL8$ should get a point here even though he is not a part of the contest but still should get some credit for his "Top down" approach. Some findings suggested not to lather up all the way to your ends to help prevent them from splitting. I find this is geared more towards girls unless you are planning to rock the man bun. Once you are done make sure you rinse your hair thoroughly and at this point you can apply conditioner.

Fourth, wash yourself working your way from the face down (point for my wife). However, do not overdue the shower gels or body washes with excessive lather. This will strip your skin of its natural oils (point for me). Over washing with the surfactants found in most soaps/washes will dry your skin and can cause it to feel rougher.

Finally, rinse off, but be sure to remove all of the soap bubbles as any that are left behind can cause skin irritation and dryness. If you left your conditioner in this long you will want to wash it out now as well and make sure you completely clear your skin from any soap/conditioner.

When you get out you will want to dry yourself by patting your skin rather than “rough” drying. As most of the negatives aspects of showering can leave your skin dry, this too will have the same outcome. To help, you can apply a lotion or moisturizer to the parts of your body that tend toward dryness. Or just apply lotion to the parts that it feels good to apply lotion ;-) After this, you are all done!

In summary I think I had more points, although I did not go back and add them up and forgot to credit points as I continued writing but I have a strange feeling I would have won regardless of the final score. Also, Barbie and I will have to change our ways to start washing more like 2PL8$ so we can keep our skin looking smooth and sexy like his!